Fat Girl Walkin'

ok, so when did i become this self absorbed? when did every thought revolve around how tubby my chunky ass looks when i am trotting around? because thats how i get from spot A to spot B apparently...i trot. is it pregnancy induced? is it hormonal? is it the product of sly marketing schemes by corporate america to smash my self esteem and tell me i am bad chelsea for not being a 2?

well either way i fear i have gone over the edge of self-coconsciousness folks. and here's the saddest part (besides the obvioius fact i have no idea how to properly use an appostraphe and many other gramarical errors) i have put on like 18-20 pounds thus far...and its fuckin killing me...everytime i step i feel something jiggle! i cant even decipher where the jiggle is coming from but i know its there. i am being stalked by jiggle and it's driving me mad, but here lies the saddest part...

i have put on 20 pounds pregnant, killing me, i have put on 10-15 pounds on drinking binges in the past that didnt phase me at all...not at all! because i had the loving comfort of booze to protect my fragile psyche from the fat that was collecting around my tubby little gut. well now i have to face tubbs-ville on a sober tip and let me tell you folks, its lame...really lame. so i am not sure what that points to more, my obvious over-love of alcohol or the obvious sad level of Chelsea McSelf Absorbed i have reached...the jury is still out. i will keep you posted. (in case you were wondering i can seriously feel my ass spreading out as sit here at my desk typing)