The Nail in My Professional Coffin

This is going to be that moment i look back on and say...why did i write that damn entry in that stupid blog...yet i continue to type...shows my ability to listen to my gut instincts are slim to none! absolutely NONE! i must voice my discontent though, or i fear i will spiral into an angry hormone induced hate mode and never return to my normal carefree (ya right) self...so here goes...Chelsea's outlook on her sad professional life...

so you go to college and you finally get that job...you know what i mean...you get THAT JOB! the job thats going to really do things for you prefessionally...really send you places...then it happens...

here i sit...fuming because i fear my intelligence is being far from utilized...and that sends me into a spiral of questions regarding my compitence and intelligence in general! self doubt and me are old friends, we actually dated for a short time in college...but that s long since over, except that today it looks like we are getting back together...dont mention this to the hubby!becasue today is the final straw and i am not sure what to do.

it began to become apparent that my boss doesnt value me as an employee when he had me pick up his child from school last week. some might say, well that just shows he trusts you! well fuck off....he wouldnt have dreamed to ask anyone else in the office, because he wouldnt assume they were doing things they couldnt interupt, but hell send Chels, she's not doing anything that important...well fuck that too. i was for a change, and ended up taking a 5 year old to meeting with 2 city departments. which makes me look ohhh sooo professional let me tell ya!

and if only that were the last thing...then it rolled into me making a calendar that outlined my other bosses overlapping basketball game schedule...no you didnt read that incorrectly! i had to take his 3 team schedules and put them on one calendar...did i mention i am a designer, not a receptionist? maybe that is something i should mention to my employer as well....

however, here comes the sensitive part...being 6 months preggo i am in no position to be frivolous with my mouthy comments alerting people to the menial bullshit i feel like i get stuck doing...I AM A DESIGNER. A DESIGNER...but i am a designer who needs her job, and her insurance, and her maternity leave...no bartering position here cats, none at all...fuck.

its been pointed out to me that in my real life, away from this life-sucking office i am not a doormat and that 'just aint my style man'! and you know what i thought, fuck yah! i have never been a doormat, i am the fucking opposite of a damn doormat in every other aspect of my life...the opposite of a doormat...would that make me one of those damn signs over your door or like a welcome wreathe? well whatever the hell it makes me i am not a doormat! and i need to remember that....fuck.

happy friday folks, excuse this mental barfing...i digress.