Thursday, January 12, 2006

What to mention...what to mention...Hmmm



it's a strange sensation to write these things with no intentional spin because you assume not a soul is reading...then you do a little shameless self promotion because you are feeling especially cheeky one day and BOOM....adoring fans coming out of the wood work...seriously spilling from the bowels of the internet, swamping me with praise for my quick wit, my sensable take on daily life, my amusing banter that flows from my pen (keyboard) with such ease...actually its just my mom, who i have apparently convinced that i am the funniest girl in the world.

and then it hits me...i have nothing to write about today. my morning has blown, i am pretty sure i ended my marriage this very morn over microwaved eggs...yup you heard me...microwave eggs. oh, you didnt know you could microwave eggs? well you can. but apparently as the hubby pointed out (as i made myself late for the office by cooking the damn micro eggs for him to be the sweet and adoring wife he deserves) ..."microwave eggs taste like shit" ...OH THEY DO? well of course they do, they are cooked in a radiation warmed plastic box...but any woman would know to take the damn eggs, say thanks babe, pretend you were gonna eat them at the office and get the hell out of the house before i realized your ploy....MICROWAVE EGGS TASTE LIKE SHIT! i am sure what he meant was "thanks babe, for all that you do for the family on a daily basis, for me, for the Mikester, for man kind in general...i love microwave eggs" if he'd just said that we could've avoided the next 20 minutes of me telepathically telling him what a ass-jack comment that was...through my annoyed silence!

and then it happens...as i sit here writing his wrongs into the world of cyberspace...my cell rings, and what do my ears hear as i answer the phone..."hey thanks for the eggs...they really helped curb my hunger." well folks it's official...another day of possible starvation derailed by MICROWAVE EGGS!

2 Comments:

At 1/12/2006 9:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey girl...sorry to put such pressure on you....but guess what????? You got me chuckling again!!! Yes...You tickled my ol' funny bone!!!
And hey...I be lovin' the ol' "reading of the mind" thing...Aren't "they" supposed to just KNOW these things????? Isn't that the way it is supposed to be????
Oh...KUDOS to the Hubby for his call...way to go guy....that's why "we" figure "you guys" KNOW!!!

 
At 1/13/2006 9:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'm sorry dear, I don't know what I was thinking. It will never happen again." The advise I gave Uncle Johnny when he was trying to rationalize dealing with his new bride. "But it wasn't my fault" he replied. I replied "Yes it is, you married her". So just remember when things are in the shitter, It's always the man's fault. In which case refer to statement #1.

 

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