Sleep...where fore art thou?

i guess i can fully admit defeat and tell the world of the sleepless nights i am having...i am one tired new parent. i realize people all around this great world struggle this very same plight every day...but i am not them...so i am hurtin my friends. dont get me wrong, i am still wowwing people with my charm and my wit, but i must admit...it is on the downhill slope. i am not even sure i am making sense anymore or if i am wearing pants at the appropriate times. my son is one good tempered child though, so i fear if i complain too much i will be struck down with a case of the screaming babies...so i digress. i will complain no more forever as one brave man once said...ok, maybe he said he would fight no more forever, but either way i think you are picking up what i am putting down.

on a lighter note...our new home closes today. yay! so i will officially be moving with a 9 day old baby starting tomorrow. have i lost my bloody mind? i think on the list of suicide inducing events you can go thru moving and a new baby are neck and neck. so i thought i would do them both in the same week. BRILLIANT! i need a serious psyche evaluation people. i think if we could throw in the death of a close family member or the loss of a job (i should be slapped for even tempting fate by mentioning those!) we will have a suicide cocktail! oh well, i have always worked far better under pressure than on a normal basis! so i will carry on with my zombie like state...right into the role of a burdened home owner. damn i am grown up! i have never owned anything before (well except my car, but that doesnt count) so wish me luck!

I am Back!

After a long hiadis i have returned my friends...although only 2 pounds lighter strangely enough...even though my beautiful son weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds 14 ounces! i am apparently destined to be a fatty pants for a short while longer. oh well i wil live i suppose! my bikini can continue to warm its hanger in the closet and i will continue to enjoy cheeseburgers and onion rings! seems like a fair enough trade to me. so the boy is the new and current holder of my new favorite people position...also held by the currently reining king young Prince Michael...so not to be accused of favoritism. he is a beautiful red haired baby with a kick ass disposition and a love of the breast. both traits he got from dad! so welcome to our world Porter Thomas...we are glad to have ya. you had us at hello... :)

Happy Birthday Amelia Breeanne

here she is folks...my beautiful and overly exciteable little sister...who turns the ripe old age of 22 today. i cant belive that little twit has survived the world as long as she has to be totally frank...but hey, who am i to judge? i dare say when the parental units brought that one home i forged a life long bitterness about being de-throwned as the only kidlet in our home, and i am afraid i only let that grudge go about a week ago. but we are the best of friends now and i truly admire her tenacity, intelliegence, character and smart wit. she's a fuckin pleasure to share my life with, and i hope she can read thru all the cynical parts of this to get to the truly sappy message underneath...

i love you sister. see you in a week.

Can it Really Be True???

Can i truly be this close to freedom my friends? can i truly be a mere hand ful of hours away from a few months off? dare i say i might be gone for the summer by the stroke of 2 o'clock today? i have had a to do list that was maybe 3 miles long if it were an inch...and i have slowly widdled through that list like a girl possesed. and today my friends...it pays off. i have one task left to complete on the hellish list and once accompllished this office can kiss my sweet ass goodbye for a good chunk of time. will i miss this group of crazies? strangely enough i think i will. will i miss the bullshit? probably not...but the people minus the bullshit? yup. i will. but dont tell anyone, because i have this hardened rough exterior image to maintain! yah, thats me...the roughest toughest pregnant girl this side of the Rovky Mountains and i intend to keep it that way. ok, i am not hardened or tough, but it sure sounds better than overly sensitive and vulnerable right? am i right? come on back me up man geez.

so goodbye office, goodbye office chair that has cushioned my ever expanding ass for the last 9 months, goodbye stamp dispenser i abused like you were my own, goodbye trusty post-it notes, good bye!

AUTHOR UNKNOWN...

"I UNDERSTAND THAT SCISSORS CAN BEAT PAPER AND I GET HOW ROCK CAN BEAT SCISSORS. BUT THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY PAPER CAN BEAT ROCK. PAPER IS SUPPOSED TO MAGICALLY WRAP AROUND ROCK LEAVING IT IMMOBILE? WHY THE HELL CAN'T PAPER DO THIS TO SCISSORS? SCREW SCISSORS, WHY CAN'T PAPER DO THIS TO PEOPLE? WHY AREN'T SHEETS OF COLLEGE-RULED NOTEBOOK PAPER CONSTANTLY SUFFOCATING STUDENTS AS THEY ATTEMPT TO TAKE NOTES IN CLASS? I'LL TELL YOU WHY, BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY, A ROCK WOULD TEAR THAT SHIT UP IN TWO SECONDS. WHEN I PLAY ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS I ALWAYS CHOOSE ROCK. THEN WHEN SOMEBODY CLAIMS TO HAVE BEATEN ME WITH THEIR PAPER I PUNCH THEM IN THE THROAT WITH MY ALREADY CLENCHED FIST AND SAY "OH SHIT I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT PAPER WOULD PROTECT YOU, STUPID-FUCK."

just a little thought for you on this fine second to last day at the office of yours truly...

Strangely Enough...

Things are looking up at this here office...(and now that i had the audacity to say that out loud i am sure i am being fired as we speak) its been a strange turning of events that have led us here to this jucture, but i must say as i sit here pondering my prupose at said office i am feeling a bit better about the shade of gray things have taken. what i thought was going to morally bankrupt the company has actually worked us all into a frenzy of actually accomplishing things...well except for me who still stares blankly at my computer surfing the net all day. (god if only i were joking) there has been a buzz in the office that can only be brought on by the onset of spring and/or the firing/quiting of a trusted high ranking official. maybe a combo if both has us all up in arms trying to actually do our jobs before "fire me phil" gets his cold clammy hands of death on us. who knows! i dont care...i am about to embark on my final 9 days of work and i am feeling so peppy (hormone induced i am sure) i might go buy mochas for my fellow corporate slaves. yup...things are looking up...did i mention i only have 9 days left until i am released into the wild world of free time? 9 days folks...i can taste fresh air already, and pajamas and the post office on a weekday morning! it gives me tingles just thinking about it...